The Australian tour turns out to be one for The Bachelorette books when Jenn and the guys embark on an earlier-than-usual out-of-country excursion where she can get to know her suitors better.
Typically, The Bachelorette saves these big trips for later in the season. Butt it’s a new day in Bachelor Nation, and 18 men and Jenn are dropped off in Melbourne, Australia, where we get our first tourism spiel.
And it’s a good one. Australia looks lovely.
The first date card is for eight guys: Sam N., Marvin, Brian, Jonathon, Aaron, Grant, Jeremey, and Devin. Their trip to the market has everyone geeking out, besides Sam N., who’s on the outskirts the whole time because he can’t eat dairy.
I know he didn’t want to ruin anyone’s time, but I would have been rather vocal about it. If anything, Jenn’s the kind of girl who would go out of her way to make sure you weren’t left out.
They taste vegemite and kangaroo testicles, as one does while down under. One suitor finally decides they’ve had enough of the group dates and chooses to steal Jenn, which sets off a series of unintentionally hilarious conversations with Devin.
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They’re setting up Devin to be this year’s villain. The one who’s too loud. Abrasive. A “bully”. The one who isn’t there for the right reasons.
Every season has one!
The thing with Devin and Jenn is that it’s hard to tell if she’s feeling his aggressiveness. She appears into the little ice cream foray, but it’s hard to tell how much she’s into Devin’s brash nature.
I will say that of all the guys on The Bachelorette, he’s the one making it very clear in these early days why he’s on this series. It’s certainly not to make friends or pad his Instagram followers because the edit he’s getting is horrendous.
After the market, it’s off to the comedy club. I’ve never seen worse stand-acts in my life. There was a time in my early 20s when I frequented the open mic nights to get a nice buzz going before I went clubbing for the evening.
All that to say, I know comedy.
All the guys using the moment to pile on Devin feels like a missed opportunity when they could have done something to stand out. But alas, the easier option is to make fun of the one guy everyone can’t stand, and Jenn seems unmoved by the unfunny experience.
Nighttime brings a cocktail party, where Jonathon and Grant stand out the most in just getting some face time with Jenn and relating to her on a level beyond small talk.
But of course, Devin is there, so self-righteous Aaron calls him out, and right then and there, our first true rivalry is born.
There’s a side break back to the hotel where the guys are seemingly sitting around in their clothes awaiting this five-minute filming block where they announce who’s getting the obligatory one-on-one date.
Shocker! It’s Marcus.
He may get the quiet edit, but everything about him screams AT LEAST hometown date.
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Back to the action, the cocktail party goes off the rails when Aaron takes it upon himself to call Devin out for his actions, but he begins the whole condescending chat by calling him Dylan.
It’s impossible to take someone seriously when they’re preaching to you about yourself, and they don’t even know your name.
Devin isn’t wrong to stand up for himself and acknowledge that his way of doing things may differ from others, but it doesn’t make him wrong. And even if he’s doing everything wrong, Jenn is the only person whose opinion really matters.
The guys love speaking for the leads during these confrontations as if they aren’t capable of seeing which guys are mature enough or going about things in the manner they want them to.
She’s the one who’s dating him, Aaron! Not you.
The back-and-forth continuing between them with the ice cream is comical but also so dumb. At this point, just let Devin do what he’s going to do because going tit for tat with him isn’t going to win you any points with anyone.
The funniest part of this hour of The Bachelorette is seeing Jenn eat that soupy ice cream after all the hoopla.
Never change, girl.
Grant getting the date rose is a little shocking, if only because they didn’t hone in too much on their chat. It would have been much funnier for it to go to Devin. I wanted to see the light dim in everyone’s eyes because Devin has them SO pressed.
Next up is Jenn and Marcus’s date, which is skydiving because, of course, it is.
Marcus is a natural on The Bachelorette due to his background as an Army ranger. Jenn is scared to death, but if there’s one thing about Marcus, he’s very calm.
He’s the perfect person to go with her on a date like this because he looks utterly unphased by everything around him.
Their after-skydiving date is in a gorgeous library where I want to get married. They talk about his time in the Army and the last mission he was seriously injured on. It’s emotional and vulnerable, and he and Jenn connect.
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Jenn is so bubbly and cute, and with Marcus, she gets to be that. But his subdued nature is a great compliment to her. I can see why she’s interested and why he’s one of the guys at the top of her list.
The next day, Spencer, Sam M., Hakeem, Thomas N., Jahaan, Dylan (the real one), Austin, John M., and Tomas A. put on Crocodile Dundee attire and engaged in a photo shoot with various animals.
It’s ridiculous, and a date where you don’t ever really talk to Jenn seems kind of unfair.
Hakeem is very unserious, and the way his eyes bug out every time that spider moves has no right to be as funny as it is.
The pictures are all gorgeous, though! Even if you don’t end up with Jenn, I would have that on my Instagram if I were the boys!
Dylan is Jenn’s obvious choice for some alone time since he steps in to get strangled by that snake, all for the sake of a picture that means nothing.
Side note: I was hoping we would get an America’s Next Top Model-level critique for the winner, but we got nothing of the sort. What a waste.
When the Outback guys return to the hotel, they have a request for the market boys: let us talk to Jenn first tonight, or else!
And look, I understand they feel slighted because that group date left no time to talk to her, but at the same time, why do any of these men owe each other loyalty?
I don’t like when the girls or boys during the season act as if there is no one else on the show but them and feel entitled to someone’s time, but also, there’s a rose ceremony that night.
It’s hard to tell someone who may be uneasy about their place with Jenn that they MUST get to the back of the line that night to talk to her.
The whole thing is weird and only gets weirder.
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But anyway, Jenn’s date with Dylan is fine, though there isn’t the spark we’ve seen her have with some of the other guys on The Bachelorette.
Dylan is a total sweetheart, though. And if he doesn’t make it, he should be on The Bachelor shortlist because he’s a cutie.
Back at the hotel, Aaron decides he must keep telling Dylan, excuse me, Devin, about himself, and it’s so wildly awkward and unnecessary.
Devin’s a better person than me because I would have thrown that book in the trash.
I don’t know why Aaron thinks it’s his place to reprimand Devin, a man he’s just met, who is competing with him for a woman’s affections. Concentrate on Jenn, my guy.
Let Devin bury himself.
And speaking of Devin burying himself, the man pulls Jenn the second the cocktail party toast wraps and, at this point, give the man his 10s.
He’s very vocally said he does not care about these men, and his mission is to get Jenn, and he’s doing just that. Is it genuine? Again, that’s not for Aaron or Thomas N. to decide, so quit trying to figure it out.
Devin isn’t bullying anyone. He’s assertive in an off-putting way, and while that may not be for everyone, he’s no bully.
Thomas N. interrupting Devin and Jenn to yell at Devin was the moment I knew Devin would go far and Thomas N. would not.
You go up there to STEAL Jenn from him, not berate the man! But we did get Jenn eavesdropping and looking like Octavia Spencer in that glorious meme from the classic horror film, Ma. So, it’s a win in my book.
The rest of the conversations with the guys are okay, and it’s clear she is very attracted to Sam M., but I wonder how far that will take the pair.
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Jesse coming in to break up yet ANOTHER Devin dogpile fest is perfect timing because some of these Devin haters need a break!
In the end, Brian, Marvin, and Jahaan get the boot, which means we’re in for even more Aaron versus Devin, Thomas N. versus Devin, and probably the flight attendant who takes them to their next location versus Devin. I’m tired already.
This one had A LOT of drama, so drop a comment below with your favorite moments and who you think the frontrunners are as we head deeper into the season!